Went and saw Bladerunner.

I REALLY wanted to like this movie, but it felt like Prometheus to me. Lisa commented that she thought she was done with Ridley Scott… I think I am too. He’s just gone over the edge, and not in a good way.

Even so, it got a C- from me… crap… I’m tempted to drop it to a D now that I’m thinking about it and writing it up.

SPOILERS ALERT – Do not read past here if you don’t want to hear about the movie.

FIRST, the story had the potential to be VERY interesting if done right… IF.

Also, like Prometheus, the movie was BEAUTIFUL. If you just go for the imagery, you could meditate to this movie.

EXCEPT… the goddamned movie is LOUD… and I mean… FUCKING LOUD… at one point I was thinking, with my FINGER IN MY EAR (I only have one good one – ear, not finger)…

“WILL THEY ALL JUST PLEASE DROWN ALLREADY!!!! PREFERABLY BEFORE I AM DEAF!!!”

I swear to all the Gods and any demon that will listen that I am SICK AND TIRED of producers thinking that LOUD = Exciting. It’s just fucking loud!!!!

At 2 hours, 43 minutes, the movie is LONG, exceedingly long, but that is not helped by the fact that I honestly cannot think of any way that Scott could have made the movie more plodding… I know, he could have cast Mr. Dennison from Night Court (the guy who suffered from Tortoise Nervosus) in a speaking role…seriously, the movie plodded along like the annual “Best of C-Span” special… no, worse…

Rotten Tomatoes gives it an 89%… FOR WHAT???? It was like watching paint dry.

To start, every scene with Wayland…. Uh, I mean Niander Wallace (Jared Leto) could have been cut and it would have had ZERO effect on the storyline. Leto just stood around and acted weird.

Then there’s the space monkey… I mean the cyber girlfriend. I get that the scenes with Joi (Ana de Armas) were meant to show us that K (Ryan Gosling) was “human” and lonely, and sad, and… oh get the fak over it already. She could have sat on the cutting room floor and half the plodding would have been done away with…. Joi only existed to be destroyed, the red shirt who dies – only unlike Kirk, Officer K cares about her… and then there’s that… She was left in the show because she has nice tits that she is clearly willing to show… that’s the only thing I can think of… But it’s not worth going to this slogfest to see her tits when there are so many other shows that are so much less painful to watch in which she bares them (seriously, Google “Ana de Armas tits” – you’ll see what I mean. NOW, that said, of the acting presented, Ana did a passable job in a pointless role.

HOWEVER, if I had to sit through another ten minutes of Officer K looking soulful, sad, and as if he’s just about cry… I’d have slit my wrists… Deckard was tormented… K was just mopey. Leto’s acting was so sub-par that I will likely avoid movies featuring him.

The plot, in the end, was just full of holes, maybe not quite as bad as Prometheus, but still in that same neighborhood.  That neighborhood is at the corner of Disappointment Street, and Jump the Shark Avenue.